Fellowship Of Friends/Fourth Way School/Living Presence Discussion – Page 186 January 25, 2020
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Fellowship of Friends - Living Presence Discussion 
Page 185, Post 98. amesgilbert1 – January 25, 2020
Thanks again, Ames, for all the information. I have been looking over co-housing situations for a couple of years. I am only interested in a single family home situation. I think I would rather be on my own in an open community than a co-housing structured community. Yes, they can be expensive. Another thing I am exploring: where are the best places to live – with affordable housing, good water – and without extreme cold weather or wildfire risks?
I am still interested in hearing if someone ever met these people (not Gold) ~ if anyone ever comes forth here who has met them.
https://www.theunion.com/entertainment/activities-and-events/sierra-gurdjieff-study-group-to-hold-presentation-in-grass-valley/
Bruce,
Links here to the other ‘Gold’ in the GV / NC area… Justin Jaye Gold
http://justingold.net
It’s been many years since I met the man, I don’t know but suppose he’s still around doing the ‘guru’ schtick… not sure what motivates this sort of thing, the outer form in this “teacher / student” dynamic is that he’s assumed the role of someone who can help others to “wake up” – and apparently he’s attracted a small following of folks who believe it. My impression at the time was that vanity and narcissism had a lot to do with it and the little flock he attracts is looking for someone to look up to… a daddy figure. Going by my gut response and trusting first impressions I didn’t feel I needed to get any deeper into his game… one visit was enough.
you get the picture
2. ton2u
Thanks for that. I suspect J. Jaye and E. J. are related. E. J.’s mother is from Sacramento. These two seem to have the same shtick going…small group of followers, as you mentioned vanity and narcissism, a lot of bullshit. E. J. is an artist and musician, and apparently J. Jaye is at least a musician. Generally the same area geographically. The usual guru syndrome. The same name play…J. Jaye and E. J. Gold. I would guess it’s an entire family of sociopaths. Interesting how that can happen.
J. Jaye Gold was born Justin Gold. He altered his name not to be confused with another Justin Gold, the founder of Justin’s, maker of nut butters and nut butter cups that are sold at most heath food type stores.
I have no idea if J. Jaye is related or connected with E.J.
Some elements of J. Jaye’s group (from an ex-FF member who now follows him): They like to read fairy tales. J. Jaye goes on “charity” missions to other countries, bringing with him a few more advanced followers. He prefers followers who are older and have experienced “life.” (Supposedly) there are no required donations.
Ton, thank you so much for taking the trouble to tell us about your community and how you came to be there (one of the last entries on page 185). Yours is a very moving story.
I’d just like to add, for other readers, that a search in the FIC database:
https://www.ic.org/directory/
…for “Camphill” brings up 126 results, of which over a hundred refer to separate Camphill communities around the country and the world. All run on the same lines as Ton’s, as far as I can tell. A truly wonderful band of men and women in essential service.
Thanks for the kind words Ames!
Cult Survivor:
Since you brought up NLP “anchoring” and regarding the many offshoots of cults, it seems appropriate to mention another NLP idea: modeling.
8. WhaleRider
Thank you for the video. Watching it, I noticed why I was never interested in NLP — it always seemed to me a New Age pseudo-science like Scientology. That being said, I know for a fact that psychological techniques like “anchors” and “modelling” work: Burton has been using them for 50 years.
On another note, I am curious about a comment by our friend Vaillant Gicqueau in his article about the use of “anchors” in cults: “In order not to face these painful repressed feelings, some people get addicted to alcohol, legal and illegal drugs, porn, video games or food. Other people like me join a cult.”
Why do intelligent, educated people fall prey of a cult like the FOF? Is it because everybody has a need for “significance, belonging and meaning” and some people with a stronger need become “addicted” to a cult, as Gicqueau proposes?
Any thoughts?
https://gen.medium.com/how-a-metoo-facebook-post-toppled-a-yoga-icon-c25577185e40
More guru abuse!
10. Nancy Gilbert
Yup. They’re all the same. If they are a guru they are also a predator or will be in the near future. It attracts this type like flies on shit.
5. Insider – January 26, 2020:
J. Jaye Gold was born Justin Gold. He altered his name not to be confused with another Justin Gold, the founder of Justin’s, maker of nut butters and nut butter cups that are sold at most heath food type stores.
————————
Would be terrible to be confused with another Maker of Nuts.
12. Vinnie
Fwiw, Morrow Nut House is owned by the family of Peter Morrow, the Fellowship member who died in a plane crash last Halloween.
“Introduction to The Introduction”
In September of 2019 I published a book called “Ocean Tiger on A Volcano” which describes my experience as both a former and ex-member of the Fellowship of Friends cult, and after 6 months of the book’s availability for purchase and after sending out dozens of emails to those who might benefit from reading the material, I found that fewer books than anticipated were ordered although 2 out of 3 books were sent to Oregon House, California. It then occurred to me that those whose butts are made of straw wouldn’t want to buy a book made of fire as indeed it is, and from then on I began sharing excerpts of the material to those who, with or without straw butts, received and are receiving the information. Now I will share on this wordpress excerpts from that book beginning from the beginning which follows immediately after this post and in the future time that follows. At first I wondered how so few people wanted to order the book, but then I began understanding that, on the one hand it would be purchased by accomplices, knowingly or unknowingly, of Robert Burton’s human trafficking organization who might rather not know the shocking truth of what their money went to, and on the other hand the current and/ex-members or family of those members who would certainly be triggered by the fact that the book outlines the cults mind control protocol connected with motives more sinister than once considered. And so to get to the point, the post following this one is the Introduction of my book “Ocean Tiger on A Volcano” with both contact information and a link to the book at the end. Thank You
Introduction
Ocean Tiger On A Volcano is an insider’s view into the world of The Fellowship of Friend’s cult and their headquarters Apollo in Yuba County, California. This book is based on a series of audio recordings totaling 8 hours uploaded to YouTube in the Fall of 2019 and includes new information previously unreleased.
I was 19 years old when I joined the cult quite accidentally, as you will see, and it was only when I turned 27 that I began to wake up from the reality of the intentional hypnosis I was placed under by The Fellowship of Friends called mind control. Mind control is different than brainwashing, as different as the color grey is from black, which is an exact psychological method of inserting mind programs into the subconscious. Needless to say I was upset upon realizing this and decided to channel that energy into this book you hold in your hands. I have often been told to, “Forget about the past and leave negative things behind you,” but let me ask you – If you went for a walk and found a child drowning in a pool, would you not stop to help that drowning child? In that moment, no amount of philosophizing or cleverness could possibly save that child, and any sensible person would immediately jump into the pool to help.
This book is in 10 chapters and flows organically, that is, without a chronological timeline. In short, I joined what I then believed to be an esoteric school of George Gurdjieff in May 2012 which was actually a mind control facility using The Fourth Way of George Gurdjieff as a front for their operations including human trafficking and money laundering. By and by I learned the extent to which crime proliferated within the cult The Fellowship of Friends, and the moment I was able to THINK to tell the world, I did. This book is loosely based on a transcript of that original whistle blowing with many new stories and photos added in for flavor. If you are unfamiliar with The Fourth Way system this book may be a bit challenging, yet I can assure you your mind will be more expanded after having read it in regards to the nature of the psyche and the world at large.
I believe you’ll find this book as hilarious as it is disturbing. It is certainly a wild ride and reflects the wild ride I experienced during the one month living at the Apollo headquarters, the one year I was a member of the organization itself called The Fellowship of Friends, and the six years I spent wandering the streets in a state of dissociation from intentionally inserted mind control to keep me silent and void of memory thereof. I also include simple ways to help heal from traumatic experiences towards the end of the book.
Ocean Tiger On A Volcano speaks for itself, and without further ado, here is my story:
CHAPTER 1: Stories From A Former Mind Controlled Human
In May 2012 I joined a cult called the Fellowship of Friends. At the time I didn’t know it was a cult – I thought it was an “esoteric school” of George Gurdjieff. That’s what it was advertised as. Anyone who may be thinking about joining this cult, is in the middle of it, or knows someone who’s in it, know that you are reading the account from an insider who has come from the bowels of this organization. Not only is it a cult, it is an organization for mind control. The public ringleader for the Fellowship of Friends is named Robert Earl Burton. He is a mind control handler, human trafficker, and rapist, and what he calls his “spiritual teachings” or “school” is actually an organization that puts people under formal mind control, mostly young men, but all kinds of people. It also teaches others how to become handlers of Fellowship of Friends based mind control.
Some of the members are under mind control and are being handled, and others are taught how to be handlers themselves. They travel into different international places to find mostly young men who are dissociated or easily programmable and bring them back to their headquarters called Apollo, in a small town called Oregon House in Yuba County, California. Why the Oregon House police, Yuba County police, State Police, or the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) haven’t cracked down on Robert Burton is a mystery. I assumed that anyone with a conscience working in the law enforcement departments who was aware of this organization would do all they could to stop it. There seems to be a lack of people with conscience in the law enforcement departments. Maybe some of them who are reading this will wake up and do something to stop this crime from happening. Robert Burton boasts he has been uninterrupted for 50 years.
It’s taken me one year to form the awareness necessary to write this book since I first realized that I was under Fellowship of Friends based mind control. So deep was the programming that I initially felt fear for life to blow the whistle, but now I do not care because I’m not afraid. My Heart is more open now than it ever was and so there is no fear. For one year, when I was first helped to realize that I was under mind control, it took strength to summon courage to write and speak like this, and to say that ROBERT EARL BURTON SHOULD BE IN JAIL for many crimes: first of all fraud of all kinds including money laundering, human trafficking, and drug induced rape.
In as simple terms as possible, if you’re thinking about joining that cult, let me tell you it is a fraudulent and terrible place unless your interest include mind control, money laundering, or human trafficking. If you desire to develop spiritually, good! Take a walk into nature and listen to the birds, swim in a lake, or talk to the trees (better yet, LISTEN). But if you want to develop spiritually, do not go to that cult called the Fellowship of Friends.
In 2012 I was 19 years old. I was reading a lot of esoteric books and among them were from George Gurdjieff. In one of the Gurdjieff books called “Meetings With Remarkable Men” there was an advertisement inside the cover of the book for the Fellowship of Friends. It was advertised as a winery and didn’t say much about being an “esoteric school” and certainly not a mind control operation.
It said “We’re a winery – come check us out. By the way, we’re into Gurdjieff.”
I thought, “Cool, I’m also into Gurdjieff.”
I looked up the Fellowship of Friends online and there was a list of international centers in which a person could call if they were interested, and so I called what was then the Los Angeles Center. A married couple named Sergio and Vera, as well as a man named Julian, met me at an Ayres Hotel in Anaheim for a “perspective meeting” and again a few days later at a café.
They said, “You’re so bright and aware; we’re going to give you a full paid ticket to our esoteric school (cult).”
What the couple from the Los Angeles Center basically said is that I was special because I was “aware” or “conscious.” But what they meant by special is young. “Great, another young male we can feed our queen bee Robert Burton.”
Robert Earl Burton drugs and rapes young men, and he keeps some of them like antiques in his mansion called The Galleria. He eats their semen around-the-clock and punishes them if they refuse to perform.
Sergio and Vera from the Los Angeles Center said, “Because you’re special, we’re inviting you on an all-expenses paid trip to Apollo,” a tax-exempt city within Oregon House, California.
I said, “Great, when do we leave?”
They said, “Tomorrow,” and I said, “Okay.”
At that cult there is a lot of programming going on in what are called “meetings,” and at these meetings Robert Burton hosts mind control session, and of course they’re not advertised as mind control sessions. One would only know if one were there to learn mind control protocol to handle other people. The meetings were advertised as “esoteric knowledge.” These meetings are held at least once a day and sometimes two or three times a day, and are held in his mansion, in his private dining room, in special meeting rooms, and outdoor tents – anywhere he can host a meeting or have other trained handlers host meetings. They advertised themselves as an “esoteric school” where a person could go to learn esoteric techniques in which to awaken consciousness, and claimed that the only way to awaken is to have a teacher or master there to help. That’s well and good if the person there to help you awaken has good intentions and love in their Heart. Robert Burton not only has a Heart made of stone, his intentions are horrendous. In fact his intentions are so bad that part of the mind control programming included triggers that would prevent me from speaking about what I experienced and subconsciously suggested “If you tell anybody about this you will die, either by our hand or yours, so shut up.” That’s why it took me a year since I first discovered I was under mind control to begin writing and speaking publicly. When under the programming I was able to speak briefly about these subjects to others, but it wasn’t until I underwent full time deprogramming that I realized there were inner “booby traps” in place to attempt blocking me from retrieving certain memories.
I lived at Apollo (their main Center of an international ring of Centers) for one month and visited various Fellowship of Friends Centers and events for one year. In the month at Apollo I attended nearly one-hundred different mind control programming sessions and took in many of the sights and sounds to share with you now.
Oh boy.
With permission from Ocean Tiger, here is a link to Dropbox containing the entire book, “Ocean Tiger on a Volcano:”
https://www.dropbox.com/s/1f11ge4zqbvqiha/NEW%20PDF.pdf?dl=0
The Moderator has informed me that to post the entirety of my book on the forum would be too much, which is true, and so here I’ve provided a link to the E-Book for free: https://www.dropbox.com/s/1f11ge4zqbvqiha/NEW%20PDF.pdf?dl=0 . Also the original 8 Part audio story on YouTube is again up which includes in the description section a link to purchase the physical book and an email for contact. Thank You
Nigel 2.
20. Cult Survivor
Nigel is like herpes.
21. brucelevy
Exactly — it disappears temporarily but it always comes back. The main difference between Nigel and Eric is that Nigel mutates at each outbreak.
19. Ocean Tiger – February 4, 2020
Thank you for sharing the pdf. It is clear that you had a very intense year that became a long-lasting experience with the Fellowship of Friends. The mind control theory is new to me. I have always thought of my own experience as a slow brainwash. But I didn’t have the REB trip that you did.
I know a few readers, myself included, have downloaded your book. I hope that you do not mind a bit of constructive criticism. Your point definitely comes across, but I think that your message could be more effective if you were to distill it down. Although repetition is good, if you make your story a little more concise, it could be more readable and gain a greater readership. What about taking your book to a creative writing class at a local college? You might be able to get some free or at least low cost editing advice. When I edit my own writing, I use what I call the “slash and burn” method. I eliminate unnecessary words as much as possible.
23. Golden Veil
If you want Eric’s book to be written exactly the way you want, then you write it; i.e. write your own story in your own words.
What Eric has done, with the podcasts and with the book, is unique in the history of former Fellowship members. His experiences and observations, brief in time as they were, are (IMO) an invaluable resource to anyone wanting to learn more about Robert Burton and Fellowship of Friends. Plus, it gave me many good laughs.
Of course, I don’t expect Levy and Cult Survivor to get it. They don’t like losing control of the narrative.
I have listened to Ocean Tiger’s story, and he has a point of view. Somehow what sticks in my mind is the fact that he commends David Icke as a voice of reason, whereas Icke is a 100% gold plated nutter. And the enormous burps he would let off from time to time.
24. Insider
I don’t really give a shit about “the narrative”. You’re welcome to crawl up your own ass any time you want.
25. John Harmer
It’s not about Icke. It’s about Robert Burton, the Fellowship of Friends, programming, and de-programming. It’s about removing a couple more veils.
At least it is for me.
27. Insider
It’s not about Icke. It’s about Robert Burton, the Fellowship of Friends, programming, and de-programming. It’s about removing a couple more veils. At least it is for me.
I believe that that’s true for most of us here (including myself) but Eric’s claims that Burton programs his entourage with funny home videos, that Burton places 7 people on the stage at meetings to represent the 7 chakras, that Burton reports to the FBI, etc., is total nonsense and dilutes the value of the information he presents.
I’m not sure that somebody looking for information about the FOF and Burton will find Eric’s book and recordings on YouTube useful. He is very articulate and a good story teller but his obsession with mind control is paranoid and discredits him and his work.
I think those who have not read my book are in no position to criticize it although of course they are free to anyways. Being 164 pages long with many new personal experiences and photos within it, few people have actually read the entirety of it, and yet it was written mostly for posterity’s sake, that is, in dedication first of all to the hundreds of young men who experienced abuse and in some cases torture by Robert Burton’s hand and those both in and out of the shadows who work with him. If you have not experienced this torture directly or do not believe those persons who come forward and say this is so, naturally the idea sounds paranoid. Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen things at Apollo you would not believe. I am open to all forms of criticism and particularly through direct email. Now those who cannot believe, for example, that mind control is involved or that Robert works with Intelligence hands, will call my work gold plated craziness, and it may be – who knows? Yet one important thing to mention is that the book offers more than a few good laughs, alchemically distilled from cult abuse, that those without a sense of humor would avoid like the strawman to fire. Lastly, I want to acknowledge the work of Steven Hassan and especially his book “Combatting Cult Mind Control.” Thank You
29. Ocean Tiger
Here is my advice to you: remove from your book all the stuff that sounds weird and that can’t be proved (like Burton reporting to the FBI, the 7 people on stage at the meetings are the 7 chakras, the 2 monitors at meetings are designed to program both sides of the brain, the Subway sign is a tool for mind control, etc.) and your book will be brilliant. As I said above, you are a pretty good writer in my opinion (articulate, entertaining, humorous) but it is the weird stuff that damages your testimony.
Another suggestion: change the title of the book to something such as “The Truth about The Fellowship of Friends Cult and His Leader Robert Earl Burton” (like the YouTube recordings were named). “Ocean Tiger in a Volcano” doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t help with online searches.
Ocean Tiger,
What every writer needs is a good editor. Editors take a story and make it more clear and compelling. I’m not an editor, but there are probably a number of good ones among ex FOF members. I strongly suggest you find a good editor and polish your story. It will be even better received.
FYI: I recently scanned and re-posted Thomas Farber’s chapter describing his experiences in Horn’s “Fourth Way school”.
http://www.survivorshandbook.com/getting-religion-with-alex-horn/
I haven’t been here for almost two years . I had no thoughts about the FoF for a long rime.
As far as I know, the number of members stands more or less around 1500-1600.
A few months ago I met a current old member and he said that newcomers balance the elders in numbers. He said that its the most pleasant time in OH ever. He was quite nice and sincere.
34. Someone – February 9, 2020
Well, how wonderful for them! I wonder if the Apollo facilities are still cared for and REB still waited upon by almost slave labor, that is by students who receive a small stipend and meager room and board supplemented by state-paid Medi-Cal health insurance benefits? Is the rumored arsenal and personal militia still at the ready incase of trouble? Is the “old member” you met one of the (surely few) students receiving retirement benefits from a professional career? Or, is he one of the long time members living off a trust fund or is an heir-to-an-estate who enjoys full-time leisure? Whatever, the play must go on…
Reading what this old member said brings to mind (forgive me for beating a dead horse) that there is real congruity between REB and DJT ~ their corrupt inner circles and greater rank and file power bases – and use of, shall we call it, “Mind Control.”
34. Someone
I remember meeting former members at the OH grocery store or the post office when I was still in the FoF (“Oh gosh, she is wearing jeans!”) and when they asked me how I was doing I always replied “I’m doing great, it’s the best time in the school ever!”.
That’s the whole point of being in the FoF: look happy, conscious, etc. — specially when meeting a former member.
36. Cult Survivor
You could almost say that the Fellowship, at this terminal point in its 50-year history, is little more than a huge stage where 1500 actors mill around pretending to be someone’s idea of a “conscious being.”
Insider, that is a great summary!
When the moderator decides to end this blog, maybe it could be the basis of a final one–sentence encapsulation of all these pages?
E.J. Gold apparently is quite the polymath! Sort of a modern Leonardo, but coupled with the Midas touch. Such a pity that the actual Leonardo has already chosen Burton as his protégé, not to mention appointed him as official and sole contact and spokesperson. But maybe it’s time for Leonardo to move on, now that Burton has far exceeded his mentor in the spiritual horserace.
So, Gold is a (self–described): actor, animator, art teacher, artist, blogger, chef, chocolatier, choreographer, cold war spy, comedian, engineer, entrepreneur, fashion designer, gamer, game developer, gold miner, guru, happenings inventor, jeweler, magician, movie consultant, museum curator, musician, music teacher, painter, photographer, producer, playwright, puppeteer, screen writer, sculptor, singer, spiritual gaming teacher, transformation writer, zen gardener—and more. He would need a full–time assistant just to catalog his accomplishments! And I wager he does all those at the level of genius. Comes with being ‘conscious’, I bet—just like Burton, who is automatically an expert on whatever subject is at hand.
First, thank you, Ocean Tiger, for your efforts. It takes a lot of work and moxie to produce a book, or make recordings and transcripts, or sort your notes and read aloud for your YouTube presentations.
IMHO, Golden Veil is quite right—if you want to make significant book sales or reach more people who know nothing about the Fellowship of Friends. If so, you do need a good editor, who would inevitably be ruthless (and possibly hurt your feelings, initially), but would help the project immeasurably. And, again IMO, Cult Survivor is also right. For example, you introduce David Icke very early on, and that certainly caught my attention; I assumed that you think he is an important source of information and inspiration. And later, Alex Jones… so that factors into my impressions and judgements/prejudices as I read the book.
It was already very obvious from the blog that there have been huge changes since I left in 1994, but you have made the scope of that much clearer, so thank you. It is apparent that Burton has taken much, much more overt control over the behavior of his followers. You take the trouble to highlight things like The Sequence; that did not exist in my day. What I assumed might have been equivalent to some kind of mantra is obviously much more intrusive and hypnotic. Without actually trying it out (heaven forfend!), it seems to me that in the end it would actually lead to more stress, more guilt over the inevitable failure to perform to an impossible standard, and eventually culminating in more individual—and group—sleep rather than less. Since that was already the case in my day, then it has to be orders of magnitude more so now.
Other things I’ve heard about, like everyone having to look at Burton every second of the meetings, not eating unless Burton is eating (thus leaving most meals to waste), that is also all more recent, and certainly can only lead to deeper group hypnosis and thus, helplessness.
And, it seems the spying has got worse, spying by Burton’s managerial class, spying by fellow students. In my day, I had to look out for the likes of Linda Kaplan and Frances Thompson, plus a smallish coterie of fawning toadies like Marcus Lasken or Kevin Brown, but it was easy to keep out of their way, I knew who they were, and took care to avoid them. That would be pretty difficult nowadays, judging by your book.
Sam Sapere, thank you for making the excerpt from ‘Tales For The Son Of My Unborn Child’ available again. I already have my own copy, and it is fun to dip in and remind myself of the spirit of the time (I suppose I could be the same age or maybe a year or two younger as Farber).
Anyway, IMO, in the excerpt, he comes over as feeling unworthy in some way (at the time), not up to the challenge, and kind of disappointed in himself. It would be interesting to ask him if he feels the same in hindsight, now much more is known about Alex Horn. I would say he dodged a bullet, and that something within him was actually acting to protect him. I wonder if he came into contact with that part again, later?
39. amesgilbert1
E. J. is a full time con man and predator.
FOF BLOG DINNER
Thursday February 27th – 6:30PM
Alloro Ristorante
124 Bank St.
Grass Valley, CA 95945
I’ll be there with my wife Artemis44.
Guru Claims Dementia is a Higher State
GROAN HOUSE, CA- In the latest surge of crazy wisdom spewing forth from the glory hole that is Robert E Burton’s mouth, despite the fact that he can’t remember shit anymore or where he last shat, it continues to be oblivious to most that he cannot even remember his lines without a prompter, let alone remember himself.
But apparently Burton the sex machine has no problem pontificating to his followers and bestowing them with sparkly consciousness…as long as the money keeps rolling in.
His cultivated followers are now being forced to swallow that he/she/it is a fully evolved man number 8, or in other words, on par with Jesus Christ himself, kissing the feet of the Absolute…who apparently has been taking time off from running the ENTIRE UNIVERSE just to receive Burton’s sincere gratitude for the multitude of his follower’s stiff cocks he’s enjoyed over the decades.
“It’s all good”, said one dreamy-eyed follower zipping up his pants, “we know what he was going to say. He’s said the same things so many times before.”
“When we joined we were told that confusion was a higher state”, whispered one side-lined female follower, “but he has taken confusion to a whole new level.”
“I’m not so sure I want to be on his ladder anymore if that’s what is in store for me,” remarked one follower under his long breath. “I always thought he was on an ascending octave, but now he seems to be experiencing a mental decline. Maybe that’s what he meant by calling the school an arc.”
The Specific Horror of Unwanted Oral Sex
I posted this last night, but it didn’t show up.
41. Ames
Thomas Farber’s book was probably in progress long before he encountered the ferocious hypocrite, bully and bullshitter.
Perhaps after finishing a rough-draft of his chapter, “Getting Religion,” the gifted young author and journalist could finally leave what the so-called “Teacher” called “the Work”:
“I did not feel up to the Work, I did not feel I could do the Work, I had come too late, or too soon, or, it just was not to be, not then. I wanted to be, for sure, but I also wanted to let things be. I could not give up the world below. There was too much to try, and I harbored the thought that I could always return to the Work at the right time and place. I knew also that I could do no such thing.” (p. 145-6
Alert readers have pointed out that Asaf Braverman, founder and leader of BePeriod.com, has a new come–on for seekers on YouTube, titled, “What is BePeriod?”
In the spirit of purest altruism, as a service to readers and seekers, I put on my best waterproof clothing and galoshes, and waded in, regardless of the risk to my mental health.
After the introduction:
BePeriod is an active learning community for the study of oneself. It gives its members the tools and structure by which to embark on a comprehensive journey of self-observation. Its teaching breaks down human psychology into the building blocks that form who we are — our habits, illusions, weaknesses and strengths — and shows how these same blocks can be reconstructed to create a real Self.
… Braverman divides the rest of the video into the following parts:
• What is BePeriod?
• Why join BePeriod?
• What is our guiding principle?
• Who Am I?
• How do we operate?
I don’t have time to write it all down, but I have transcribed Asaf’s own words where he answers the question, “Who Am I?”, above. Here they are:
Readers will quickly realize that Asaf (as always way, way ahead of my ability to keep up) has abbreviated his esoteric history even more since I last wrote about the subject on the last page (185, #56, January 11th). Now the lies of omission are even more blatant. Not only does he skip over the two decades he spent learning how to operate spiritual scams directly from his teacher, Robert Earl Burton, leader of the Fellowship of Friends, but now omits any mention of the Fourth Way, Gurdjieff or Ouspensky entirely! Look at that last paragraph above, again.
Asaf Braverman certainly learned everything he knows about sheer chutzpah and arrogance from the Grand Charlatan, Robert Earl Burton, the God–Emperor of Oregon House and Best Buddy of the Absolute™!
47. amesgilbert1
Unbelievable. I guess sociopaths gotta sociopath…The amazing thing is there is no self awareness in the equation, which is certainly fortunate for them. The people who have major personality disorders that leave and start their own bullshit are pretty much all the same. Of course there are large numbers of flying monkeys and morons to readily crawl up these diseased motherfucker’s asses. There’s a sucker born every minute.
47 Thanks Ames – IMO revealing the hoax that’s being perpetrated is a public service… I wish it could go out to a wider ‘audience’ – the public at large – but anyone who lands here through their own due diligence should be warned-off of further pursuits in this direction.
Gotta wonder what motivates an individual to want to undertake the role of “guru seeking disciples” – sociopaths gotta sociopath? A true enough statement on it’s face but what lies behind the desire to set oneself up as a “guru” with designs to lure in the unsuspecting?
Long buried and forgotten issues during potty-training?
Looking at the brief bio from the be. site, what jumps out to me, to paraphrase: “… I was overcome by a paralyzing lack of purpose… for many years…”
This is just a “grope” on my part, trying to understand, but to me this sounds like a phase of development generally typical of early adolescence, a phase of rebelling against the status quo, when one questions authority and questions one’s own identity and place in the world – the ‘teleology’ of the phase ‘ideally’ leads one in the direction of creating individual identity.
The fact that this phase is put front and center in the bio reflects (to me) a case of arrested development… aspects of character development have ceased at the stage of adolescence during the search for identity. In this case the crisis appears “resolved” by the imagination that all of the ‘esoteric’ riddles of human existence are now “revealed” through this personality called ‘Asaf.’
Hey mommy, look what I can do ! I can make a poo-poo and wipe my own butt !
But really, who is he trying to impress? what’s he trying to prove? That he’s the smartest, the best person in the room?
There are plenty of’ marks’- er, ah, other people – walking around in a similar quasi-adolescent condition of self-doubt and rebellion against the status quo – what the “Beperiod” site is fishing for is the would-be others who share in the condition, those who, recognizing a dissatisfaction with a perception of their own shortcomings, hope to somehow find solutions to their situation through affiliation with the “like-minded” Asaf and associated phase-arrested con-federates.
Just a grope.
49. ton2u
I think some of it is a pathological need for power over others to generate self-worth, whether it’s sexual, financial or more often both. Throw in clinical narcissism and psychopathology.
Also, maybe these phony gurus, like certain plutocrats we know of, hide behind their aura of specialness, the fact that they are just too lazy, too afraid, or incompetent to go out into life, get a life and earn a real living. Heaven forbid, that would involve good old hard work, taking the risk of failure, or being ordinary, and no narcissist would settle for that.
51. Nancy Gilbert
Yup.
49. ton2u
Gotta wonder what motivates an individual to want to undertake the role of “guru seeking disciples” – sociopaths gotta sociopath? A true enough statement on it’s face but what lies behind the desire to set oneself up as a “guru” with designs to lure in the unsuspecting?
I don’t believe that Asaf is a sociopath like Burton. Asaf comes from a rich family. He joined the FOF when he was 19 and spent 20 years with Burton being his right hand and closest ally. The FOF and his father supported him during those 20 years. Now BePeriod and his father support him — he currently lives in a house in his father’s state in Tel Aviv with his wife and child with all expenses paid. He is just a guy that never had a job in his life, was always supported by somebody and has a huge vanity feature — that explains his need to attract “disciples” in order to have a purpose in his life and get his ego massage.
@ 53
Thanks for the insight CS….
I think it could be argued that there is a sliding scale when it comes to sociopathy… by some standards a grown and supposedly “mature” man who continues to depend on and live off of daddy is not an example of healthy or ‘well-adjusted’ social functioning….IMO. The fact that he feels a need to attract ‘disciples’ to support inflated self-delusions is also a sign of socio-pathology IMO… Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others…. not ‘talking’ about psychopathology – which is a whole different level of crazy.
Well, Cult Survivor, I take your direct, long–term experiences of Asaf Braverman much more seriously than any of my opinionating—based on third–hand (at best) derivatives of direct experience. And I thank you for your informed comments.
You have pointed out before that Asaf does rather well (by my standards, at least!) from BePeriod, raking in something in the range of $200–250,000 per year before operating expenses. So, unless he is living wild on the hog, he is covering his needs there in his villa on his parents’ estate. Though, with twins on the way, his worldly needs will rise.
What we do know is that he definitely has a compulsive need to have disciples who look up to him for guidance and revealed wisdom. We can say that with certainty. There is not even any indication that there was the slightest pause for reflection when Burton gave him the ultimatum, “My way or the highway”, he just ploughed on ahead in his role as guru.
Any seekers landing here who want to know more about Asaf Braverman would be well served by heading over to Tim’s invaluable blog (click on, “Robert Earl Burton blog”, under Blogroll at the top of this page, on the right) and looking at all the various versions of his autobiography Braverman has published over the years. Look for yourself, and think hard about the implications. This is not the time for magical thinking, somehow trusting that everything will somehow turn out right, or that you are immune to being made to feel welcome and special, or groupthink in general.
My own personal viewpoint is: IF a master–disciple relationship be temporarily necessary, then if is to be healthy, it MUST be based on the utmost transparency and truth–telling. Any lies whatsoever, whether of commission or omission, poison the entire relationship and render it not only worthless, but actively harmful. Please, do not expose yourself to this danger.
54. ton2u
You have a point there.
55. amesgilbert1
The 200-250K/year figure I reported here over a year ago is not true anymore. I heard that lots of people left his group and not many are joining because of the information that now displays on Google searches (see image below) so his revenue decreased drastically.
56. Cult Survivor
Must be Affluenza.
af·flu·en·za
/ˌaflo͞oˈenzə/
noun: affluenza
a psychological malaise supposedly affecting wealthy young people, symptoms of which include a lack of motivation, feelings of guilt, and a sense of isolation.
REMINDER
This Thursday February 27th at 6:30PM I’ll have a table at the Alloro Ristorante in Grass Valley on 124 Bank street (across the street from the hotel) if anybody is interested.
It’s been said before – Asaf Braverman probably continues BePeriod.com because the Fellowship of Friends was the only life that he’s known as an adult since his compulsory military tour of duty as a teenager in Israel. As a former teacher-in-training at the Fellowship of Friends, creating a pseudo school / religion is all that he knows. If his military tour of duty included witnessing people getting killed, he may have PTSD; serving in the military could be his source of vulnerability to the cult. He cleverly transformed his “forced” time abroad while in the Fellowship of Friends into a self-created PhD in the interpretation of ancient arts and cultures in Fourth Way terms. But Asaf Braverman may be getting closer to self realization regarding the fatal flaw in his own, as Ames Gilbert has succinctly described, “esoteric history” and subsequent unmarketability as an instructor of esoteric knowledge. Of course his apparent IT and graphic design expertise could help him get a job someday. He may choose to discontinue his beautifully designed online school for seekers and quit the esoteric teacher business altogether.
On a different note, a Psychology Today article with an interesting thesis popped up this morning, “Why Do People Blame the Victim?” by David B. Feldman Ph.D.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/supersurvivors/201803/why-do-people-blame-the-victim
The author’s book
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-supersurvivors-bounce-back-2014-6?op=1
60. Golden Veil
My own guess is sociopathic people are pretty much immune tp PTSD as they don’t have a functioning conscience. Re: all the people in the US military who have been charged with war crimes.
60. Golden Veil
Asaf did the military service working 6 hours a day at an office and going home every night (he has a rich dad) so no PTSD there.
CS, thank you for the update on Asaf Braverman’s declining fortunes, let us hope the trend continues until expenses far outweigh any income and he gives up the charade!
I think it is pretty clear that Braverman’s mentor for two decades, Robert Earl Burton, has for a very long time been completely out of touch with any people willing to disagree with him. Noblesse oblige without the obligations, an enormous dose of entitlement, no real vestiges of self-awareness, certainly not any situational or spiritual humility, in the single–minded pursuit of being acknowledged as the God–Emperor of Oregon House™ and Best Buddy of the Absolute™! And this is the milieu in which Asaf garnered his ‘esoteric expertise’—twenty years at the dead center of the Burton Fantasy, cocooned in the entitlement due him as the Anointed Successor™.
I am sorry that Asaf decided to follow in Burton’s footsteps, both for him personally, and for anyone who looks up to him as some kind of guru. One would have thought that Asaf would take at least a small pause for reflection after Burton gave him the shaft, but no, there was no perceptible hiccup, he went right on doing what he does best, which is issuing a continual stream of bullshit masquerading as something esoteric.
IMHO, the proper response, when the relationship between Asaf and Burton concluded, would have been, in stages and timing suitable to Asaf’s best interests: reflection, remorse, repentance, and maybe even restitution. At least that was the case for me (restitution consisting, in part, of trying to warn others, including this blog).
If Asaf had the slightest self–awareness (ironically, a quality he espouses and claims he can teach in his various presentations), then he would have worked through some of this and shut up and ceased operations already, IMHO. But that would involve conscience, wouldn’t it? And Braverman was trained by Burton to delegitimize and actively ignore conscience—for two decades.
Cult Survivor asked me to remind you that we will be at the restaurant Alloro in Grass Valley (124 Bank St) tonight Thursday at 6:30 PM if somebody wants to join us.
If you come ask for the “School Reunion” table.
Art @ 64
For those ‘here’ who can’t be there, let us know how it went.
65. ton2u
There were 5 of us, including Artemis44 and I (I also sent invitations to some former members that are not contributors of this blog). It was a lovely evening — survivors have a lot in common.
Hello friends, is there a link where I could find the current teaching from the conscious being? Is the sequence still on or it has been evolved into something else? Please assist for the good cause! Thank you!
67. Lower Self
Join or rejoin the Fellowship, and you’ll find out everything. No charge these days for rejoining, and you can leave again after a month. You’ll be able to watch the conscious being leading meetings or dinners some 10-12 times a week. Find out about the sequence. And, especially, get on board for the 2020 edition of the end-of-the-world roller coaster ride. Enjoy, and let us know what you find out.
#68 I bet C influence didn’t tell him about the Coronavirus before it happened, but of course just to teach him even more humility than he already has.
🙂
End of the world? Again? Is there a place where I can find the current preaching from a distance? Don’t feel like joining again. I remember they had this weekly publication called “thought from the teacher.” Is this still going on? BTW, is he a #8 today or still at 7th?
Is this a joke?
What is funny? When I knew the guy he called himself #7 but there was already a talk that he was rising.
72. Lower Self
Can you tell us a bit about you? When did you join the FoF, where are you from, why and when did you leave and — mainly — what are you doing here? You seem like somebody that is trying to be funny. If you are being serious I suggest you ask for professional help, join the FoF or both.
Just like you, I am a cult survivor. What is funny, is the “teaching”, not the question. I stopped following when he came up with the sequence. Just curious how this has evolved over the years. It’s hard to be serious when I see a madman who I once called a teacher.
74. Lower Self
I get it, you are just curious. In that case I suggest that you read this blog from page 150 to 186 (this one) — that will give you a good idea of the current teaching and what Robert and Asaf are doing. Enjoy the reading.
HINT: You can navigate this blog by typing the page number into the “Search” field at the top of the page.
Thank you. I definitely will. Btw, great news that Asaf has finally left. Not that we ever were friends but I knew the guy nearly from the beginning. At least he wasn’t bad as far as I knew. Just brainwashed. But Dorian is a real idiot! What a slam in Burton’s face and all those older students who spent their lives and fortune in the race to Limbo! I laughed my ass off listening to Dorian speak. We need more of those videos on YouTube. One such video worth ten thousand written words. Is he still married to Edith? That was a joke too. I always thought it was an arranged marriage by Burton to get him a green card.
77. Lower Self
My friend, you are in the wrong forum for those kind of questions. If you are in The Sacramento/Oregon House/Nevada City area we could meet for a coffee and I’ll tell you all you want to know; if you are not in that area we could talk on the phone.
Please contact me on my YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9pwIeL52g-yRPpNXk-fETg
Looking forward!
Thank you for the invite but the distance is great between us. The internet is our Starbucks. The feeling I got while watching Burton speaks, is that he gonna kick the bucket soon. He barely speaks. And when this happens and the new conscious being from Romania will take over the divine throne, it won’t take too long for the whole thing to crash. Btw, what happened to Gerard H? Was he officially recognized as #5? I can imagine how the guy feels watching Dorian taking his place. The whole thing such a joke! For some, though, a painful one.
We have another Nigel.
75. Cult Survivor – February 29, 2020
“…I suggest that you read this blog from page 150 to 186 (this one) — that will give you a good idea of the current teaching and what Robert and Asaf are doing.”
Cult Survivor, sure you want to recommend that newcomers start with page 150 – the Nigel Price show?
On another note, how was the evening at Alloro Ristorante?
The first question made me think Nigel,
eh Ames
81. Golden Veil
Cult Survivor, sure you want to recommend that newcomers start with page 150 – the Nigel Price show?
Of course not — it was part of the Nigel test. He didn’t pass.
On another note, how was the evening at Alloro Ristorante?
There were 5 of us, including Artemis44 and I (I also sent invitations to some former members that are not contributors of this blog). It was a lovely evening — survivors have a lot in common.
Just as a humorous expression of dismay I made a video of myself gurning to a soundtrack of bits of my final conversation with Burton before I left the FoF:
I took the time to follow the Cult survivor’s advice to search through the pages mentioned above but couldn’t make it through 150. I can’t imagine wasting days reading through this stuff. Is there anyone who could simply boil it down or better, share a link where the current teaching shows itself fully? I just can’t imagine buying Burton’s new book to read through his rubbish. I don’t want to put my dollar in Burton’s economy anymore. Besides, I don’t think it is a real book anyway, most likely, daily cards stitched together by someone like Asaf. Burton is a retard, can’t write books.
85. Lower Self
Boiling it down: You left 15-20 years ago, based on your (quite possibly misleading) memory of whom Dorian was married to. You have lost all possibilities of waking up. No Paradise for you. Next stop, the moon. It’s better had you never been born. You’re nothing more than a despicable life person, hardly better than an animal. Woe is you for rejecting Influence C. You will never get another chance. You blew it. Your life is a total waste. Have a nice day.
86. Insider
Great response, LOL. An insider’s joke coming from someone claiming to be the Insider. That’s the answer all right.
84. John Harmer
Your video makes me very uncomfortable — I shouldn’t have watched it before going to bed lol
84. John Harmer – March 2, 2020
Your video is an excellent artistic expression of cult angst.
Please post an antidote soon. How about some Chopin?
86. Insider – March 2, 2020
That’s tough advice to Lower Self, a cult survivor. I am not convinced that L.S. is N.P.
I send good advice from an Italian Renaissance architect:
Be brave and courageous, for adversity is the proving ground of virtue.
~ Leon Battista Alberti
85. Lower Self – March 2, 2020
Page 150 is atypical of this discussion. But if you continue to read, your patience will pay off. Although this is not really the place to learn what the current teaching is, occasionally a discussion will include how the teaching has changed over the years. Sometimes a former student will post links. On page 185, beginning with post 74 by Insider, there is a link to a current but foreign Fellowship of Friends recruiting page and a discussion continues about the form of the Fellowship of Friends teaching in Russia. But, to get the latest news on Oregon House, just skip over anything not relevant and persevere reading through the pages. There are details on how the teaching has changed over recent years.
#85 Lower Self, in the book ’50 years with angels’, which you said you wouldn’t buy (for understandable reasons) Burton reveals that he has been visited by the absolute recently, who sometimes appears male and sometimes female, and on the third visitation when Burton “saw” the absolute at a big meeting, he announced to everyone that the absolute was in the room, and that every one in the room was conscious. The book is indeed nauseating, and the main smell of it is of a man so insanely obsessed with himself, that he has no idea how he appears to others any more.
91. John Harmer:
“The book is indeed nauseating, and the main smell of it is of a man so insanely obsessed with himself, that he has no idea how he appears to others any more.”
How Robert Earl Burton appears to others:
Robert Burton is crystallized in pretending he is what he calls a “conscious being.” It would seem to be part acting, part delusion. And, yes, also being hyper-aware of his environment, but really not more so than millions of other people, including probably hundreds of his followers. Of what does the pretending and acting consist? The ability (a bad habit, really) to receive “messages from gods and angels“ from virtually every impression Burton encounters, every minute of every day. Seeing the connectedness of all objects and events, specifically with all and everything revolving around Burton himself. Knowing how to attribute the movement of air, or alterations in a light’s brightness, to the actions of “angels who are with us right now.” The unrivaled Chutzpah to concoct the “Visitation by the Absolute” event at least 3 times. The enviable resignation and humbleness with which he accepts one humiliating failed prediction of doom after another, getting right back up and, almost immediately, predicting another one. Well, whatever works to keep the Fellowsheepers happy and secure.
Ps: Sorry for the harshness of my previous post (86). It was not meant to be a comment about Lower Self, but attitudes and programming many of us had and maybe still carry.
An Independent Research Project
by Ilona C. Cuddy
This is dedicated to the many people who have become lost in trying to find themselves. Their painful stories have pierced my heart. I pray that freedom and honesty find them soon.
http://old.freedomofmind.com/Info/articles/indeppendentResearch.php
MEMORANDUM
Date: the Present
From: Robert Burton, Infallible Leader
To: All Followers
Re: Covid-19 Government Restrictions
C-influence reminds us that governmental restrictions and laws are for sleeping machines only and do not apply to us. Do not succumb to feminine dominance. You are free to travel anywhere in the world, by stealth if necessary, shake hands with each other, and kiss me on the lips.
The “Corona” virus is a message from World 12 that the end is near and Paradise awaits us.
Given that life museums are now closed, in order to ingest a sufficient amount of Hydrogen 12 to maintain divine presence there will be an additional mandatory donation of $600 for entry into the Galleria to view our magnificent art collection. Visits will be limited to 10 minutes only.
Young males who are unable to afford this new donation are hereby requested to line up outside my bedroom door each morning starting at 10am.
It is fine for anyone else who cannot afford the entry and lacks a penis to receive their higher impressions from hiking in nature, visiting parks or just basking naked in the sun.
95. WhaleRider
Boy, are you prescient or what?
The following was just sent out via email to all Fellowsheepers:
= = = = = = = = = =
Dear friends,
With many museums being closed globally right now, Robert would like to point out the wealth of online museums.
Below is a list of museum collections and related art websites.
On many sites, in addition to viewing and zooming in, high-resolution images can be downloaded for free.
Together we can further refine this list so please send us any links you feel are worth including.
Thank you,
Love,
Eng$lb$rt
= = = = = = = = = =
This was followed by some 40 links to museums around the world.
95. WhaleRider & 96. Insider
Good one both of you. By the way, I can picture Burton at the “virtual meetings” (I’m sure that social events are all cancelled at Apollo considering the advanced age of most residents) talking about Influence C finally starting Armageddon.
Great news! Our intrepid super–spy has returned in good order, and is recovering from a truly perilous ordeal. It was not so much the creeping past the gate, night after night, or tiptoeing across the formal garden beds of the Galleria, or even quietly opening the back door at 3 a.m. and launching the tiny drone towards the inner sanctum, then waiting for sounds to be transmitted back. Rather, as readers can well imagine, it was hearing once more the banal, whining drone of the God–Emperor of Oregon House as he blathered on about everything that was randomly stimulating the drugged neurons in his brain at any particular moment.
But these heroic efforts paid off, the recordings were safely retrieved, and now we can reveal that, finally (!!!), Robert has “keyed” the meaning of Covid–19 for the world and posterity.
Editing out the grunts, wheezes and muffled instructions to his boys to ‘do it harder, faster’, the pertinent information is this:
The ‘C’ in Covid–19 naturally stands for C–Influence. Duh!
‘ovid’ refers to Publius Ovidius Naso, also known as Ovid.
As readers know, Ovid was a Roman poet who was a contemporary of Virgil and Horace, both of whom Burton has confirmed as ‘conscious beings’ on the updated list of 81 (if not on the original list of 44).
Through the mewling snorts of Burton seeking satisfaction, it was not possible to discern what Burton thought ‘19’ means, although two possibilities are immediately apparent: (1) This situation started in 2019, and/or (2) if we insert Ovid before Virgil, he would be the 19th conscious being on the list of 81.
Ta–da! Hey, this stuff is easy once you get going!
History tells us that Ovid was exiled from Italy by Augustus Caesar. Our hard–working volunteers did decipher enough from the fracas to know that Burton revealed that “this virus is Ovid’s revenge”—though it was hard to tell, the words were often slurred, as if he was speaking with his mouth full.
Apparently, the gist of this Amazing Insight™ has since been communicated to the laity, and they are presently consciously preening themselves as they consciously digest the meaning of this conscious tidbit and how incredibly fortunate they are to be privy to such wisdom.
P.S., to answer the inevitable queries in advance: the sub–miniature drone utilized by our super–spy was way too small to carry a camera, and could only transmit sounds. And, frankly, considering the circumstances, that was probably a good thing!
Once Burton understands how the coronavirus works, I bet it really puts the wind up him. He is definitely in the at risk group with his heart disease, and with all the comings and goings at Apollo it is only a matter of time.
I predict they are buying a ventilator and getting some hapless student trained up on how to work it right now.
Or even better, he is having to wash his own dishes. 🙂
Who has that picture of Burton washing dishes that was sent to the members a while ago to ask for help at the Galleria? It would go very well with John’s post lol
Cult Plans to Move Ahead With Lifting the Ban on a Dangerous Practice by Easter
Orangutan House, CA-Despite warnings from government health officials to avoid touching your face in order to prevent the spread of the life-threatening coronavirus, cult leader Robert Eno Burton intends to proceed with his plan to lift the ban on nose picking by Easter, the tightly controlled group announced today.
“Enough is enough”, the repulsive cult leader is reported to have said. “The nose picking exercise has served its purpose in exposing how difficult it is to control the lower self. It’s time to relax and enjoy our remaining time on the planet. Just be present when you do it.”
When asked about the timing of lifting the ban by Easter, Burton echoed the words of his alter ego Donald Trump, “Easter, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s time to put our fingers back to work.”
“With the dry weather and dusty conditions fast approaching, the timing is perfect”, one follower said. “I think it’s brilliant. The coronavirus pandemic is a big hoax anyway. And I need to conserve toilet paper.”
Other followers were not so sure. “Why so soon?” another said. “I was having so much sadistic fun photographing others I saw with their finger unconsciously jammed up their nose. What’s next, is the no sneezing exercise about to be lifted too? How will I feel superior over others?”
As deaths mount around the globe from the spread of the coronavirus pandemic, the cult is reportedly also defying the ban on public gatherings and continuing to hold meetings in which cult elders spew their tiny droplets of esoteric knowledge among their glassy-eyed followers, apparently in an effort to end their slavish misery sooner rather than later.
I’m sorry, but the previous comment ( #101) is one of the reasons I really don’t feel compelled to participate in discussions. I’m not following every week, but I would appreciate that the level of “humor” or “ironic” insights and stories told here suits our initial questioning and reason why we all ended up in the Fellowship. We all become angry, I still have nightmares, but we need to rise above the sad fallacy of the FOF and remember that we did come out and can possibly help others without crude narratives.The situation is bad enough without this crap…
Here’s a question many of us might have. You have/feel questions of obligation. Your dreams contain memories mixed with horrible , trapped circumstances that go around and around and don’t resolve. But you know you have resolved most of those early emotions, and will continue to grow in your new life. You have identified your aims… acknowledging
a need to continue your personal work, however you identify it. You do have the tools, with or without the FOF. I have the tools, if trying, we are all capable of finding our resources.
Best wishes to you all with these trying times..
102. Amanda Raphaelson
Each of us here has his/her own form of catharsis — I am personally not very fond of WhaleRider’s sarcastic narrative but I respect his way of expression.
Amanda:
With all due respect, it saddens me to hear that you feel humor and satire, no matter how crude (goats flirting?) are not counted as one of your resources in processing and extricating yourself from the cognitive dissonance and gaslighting that is currently endemic in the cult and our society.
Tragically in that regard the coronavirus seems to be the only means to cut through the Gordian Knot of the political and psychological predicament we find ourselves in today.
Why on earth do you think unrestrained laughter is banned in the cult? IMO, it just more the entitled “holier than thou” attitude that was instilled and amplified in the cult.
I now gladly count myself as part of “life” in all its decrepit splendor, for I now consider myself equal to all and above none.
Are the crudest among us somehow less than human as they are considered in the cult?
You might ask yourself, is judging my “crappy” process the manner in which you have continued your personal work?
Feel free to use the scroll button if you find anything offensive here, and I might add that had you been following the blog all these years, I think you will find my posts tame compared to others.
“Why” a person joins a cult and stays on for decades may not be as pertinent as “how” to live ones life in the aftermath, IMHO. This is how I choose to live mine 30 years later.
My post was not directed at you personally nor the victims of the current pandemic. I have come to learn a great deal about myself from my dreams…and nightmares.
Believe me, I’d much rather hear about your nightmares than speak truth to power, which ultimately is the purpose of my satire. It tends to get under the thick skin of a narcissist. We have the shining? example of Trump and his attacks on comedians. Obviously my satire triggered something in you…
As one author put it, “Ultimately, Voltaire was a rebellious motherfucker.”
I sincerely wish you the best in your process, and thank you for your contribution.
You’re both right, bad day.
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